By Dr. Arnold Mahesan
Fertility SpecialistBeverly Hills Babies
Dr. Arnold Mahesan is a board-certified fertility specialist with extensive experience in IVF, fertility treatment, and gestational surrogacy. He is committed to helping intended parents navigate their journey with personalized care and expert guidance
For two men, gestational surrogacy usually involves an egg donor, IVF using sperm from one or both partners in separately identified embryo groups, and a surrogate who carries the pregnancy. Both partners can build a family together, while each individual embryo is created using sperm from one man and an egg from the donor.
One embryo is not created by combining both partners’ sperm. That distinction helps make the decisions about genetic connection and future siblings clearer from the beginning.
1. Discuss each partner’s goals before IVF
Some couples want to create embryos using one partner’s sperm. Others want embryos from each partner, giving both the opportunity to have a genetically related child over time. Either conversation should happen before eggs are allocated.
There is no requirement that both partners contribute sperm to become parents. The medical plan should reflect your own priorities, and the legal arrangements should establish parentage appropriately with guidance from reproductive counsel.
2. Evaluate both sperm sources if both will be used
Each partner contributing sperm needs the relevant assessment and screening. Differences in semen findings can influence the plan and may warrant further evaluation before the donor cycle.
If eggs are divided between the partners, equal allocation does not guarantee equal embryo numbers. Fertilization and development may differ between the two groups. Discuss how the allocation will be made and what you would do if one group yields few or no usable embryos.
3. Select a donor for the whole family plan
Your donor choice should consider clinical suitability, genetic screening, the treatment arrangement and your preferences about identity and future contact. If you hope for siblings from the same donor, assess whether the planned egg or embryo supply is likely to support that goal.
A shared egg donor can allow children conceived using different fathers’ sperm to share a genetic connection through the donor. It does not guarantee that you will obtain enough embryos for both family-building plans.
4. Prepare for one pregnancy at a time
The wish for each father to have a child can create interest in twins. Transferring an embryo from each partner into one surrogate is not a reliable or medically preferred way to accomplish that goal. It can result in neither implanting, one implanting or a multiple pregnancy with additional risks.
Planning separate single-embryo transfers allows the medical recommendation to remain focused on each surrogate and pregnancy. Timing, costs and the possibility of a later sibling journey deserve discussion before you begin.
5. Connect the medical and personal decisions
Fathers First™ coordinates egg donation, embryo creation and surrogate preparation within a physician-led pathway. Our conversations also address communication with the surrogate, birth preparation and the family you are building beyond the first pregnancy.
Contact BHB to discuss whether one or both partners will create embryos and how that choice fits your intended family size.
