By Dr. Arnold Mahesan
Fertility SpecialistBeverly Hills Babies
Dr. Arnold Mahesan is a board-certified fertility specialist with extensive experience in IVF, fertility treatment, and gestational surrogacy. He is committed to helping intended parents navigate their journey with personalized care and expert guidance
If you hope for more than one child, the best time to discuss that goal is before the first egg-donor cycle. The decisions about donor access, sperm allocation and embryo storage may influence your options years later.
Planning ahead does not require you to decide every birth date now. It allows you to understand which choices preserve flexibility and which may be difficult to repeat.
1. Decide what a shared donor means to you
Some fathers place particular importance on their children sharing the same egg donor. Others are comfortable with different donors. For two fathers, using the same donor with each partner’s sperm can create a genetic connection between their children through the donor.
If that matters to your family, ask how the initial treatment plan addresses it. A donor’s availability for a future retrieval should not be assumed. If frozen eggs are used, additional eggs from that donor may not remain available later.
2. Review the reserve for each planned child
Embryo storage preserves the embryos already created; it does not guarantee a future birth. A reserve for two children should be discussed differently from a reserve for one. When both fathers contribute sperm, each group needs its own assessment.
After the first birth, the remaining embryos should be reviewed before making the next plan. The fact that one sibling was born from a group is helpful information, but it does not guarantee the outcome of another transfer.
3. Separate sibling planning from twin planning
Wanting two children does not mean that transferring two embryos is the appropriate route. A twin pregnancy places additional demands on the surrogate and increases the chance of premature delivery and other complications.
Sequential journeys allow each pregnancy to be planned individually. Some families consider overlapping journeys with different surrogates, but that involves two independent medical assessments, two arrangements and the practical possibility of caring for two newborns at similar times. It needs careful planning rather than being treated as a shortcut.
4. A returning surrogate needs a new assessment
If your first surrogate hopes to help again, that can be a meaningful possibility. Her recovery, the details of the most recent pregnancy and her current health must be reviewed before another transfer is considered. A previous match does not create an obligation to undertake a sibling journey.
Timing between pregnancies should be guided by her medical circumstances. Your desired age gap cannot be the only factor.
5. Plan the practical side of the second journey
Discuss the cost of a future journey, embryo-storage responsibilities, travel and newborn support. If the pregnancies overlap, build a plan for appointments, potentially different delivery locations and unexpected changes in timing.
Fathers First™ begins with your broader family goals so embryo creation and the first journey can support the future you have in mind. Contact BHB to discuss sibling planning before you select a donor or finalize an IVF cycle.
